You have called me higher

I have had the privilege to stay at home with little E for about 4 months now! It has been such a blessing! The time has come to go back to work...

"The time has come," the walrus said, 

"To talk of other things 

Of shoes and ships and ceiling wax 

Of cabagges and kings 

And while the see is boiling hot 

And whether pigs have wings 

Kaloo Kalay no work today 

We're cabbages and kings" 

Haha! Yeah I just took you WAY back. Alice and Wonderland was one of my favorite movies growing up! Eventhough some parts were kinda creepy :) Wwwhhooo aaarrree you?

So the time has come to go back to work... I contemplated part time, staying at home, and even possibly finding a different career field. I prayed and prayed about it when I was pregnant and still do everynight. Guess who came through for me once again? The big man upstairs.

I am starting a new job and I am very excited. It's very bittersweet because I am going to so miss that time with my little man. 

After having so many struggles growing up I really feel that I was called  by God to help others and that calling has never wavered. For me that was to be a social worker and counselor. I never changed degree paths or ever felt like I wasn't doing what I was supposed to.

"For the gifts and calling of God are unchangeable." Romans 11:29

I applied for the job I will be starting LAST OCTOBER! They waited on me for awhile when I was on bed rest and now I've waited on them. You cannot tell me that isn't a God thing. God delayed the hiring 7 months... all in his timing. He has put me once again right where he wants me.

At times I have really questioned God's calling for me. I had many sleepless nights of being on call, heartbreak from patients passing or commiting suicide, and I was screamed and yelled at quite a few times. Oh and not to mention "bit bit," my patients dog peeing on my laptop. Sometimes my calling felt like a curse. 

It never failed when I had those bad days someone or something would pick me back up. It might have been a thank you card, a compliment, or even me just having a moment of realization that I was making a difference in someone's life.

I had seriously the sweetest little patient one time while I was working for hospice. She was one of the most feminine and genuine people I have ever met. She was always dressed in floral patterns and would stare out her shuttered windows at the birds. She asked if I could come see her daily! :) She would always tell me that my smile was the highlight of her day!

She was declining and I will never forget the last day I saw her. I was about to leave and she asked if I could stay a little longer so she could stare at my "beautiful face." She passed 2 days later. 

If that's not rewarding I don't know what is....

I was listening to a song the other day, "called me higher" by sons and daughters. 

The words say you have called me higher, you have called me deeper, I go where you will lead me lord. 

He has called me higher. He has called me deeper. I am going where he leads me.